Have you ever felt like you were either a complete success or a total failure? Like one hard conversation meant a relationship was falling apart, or one mistake meant you had ruined everything? This is often called black and white thinking, or all-or-nothing thinking. It is a common cognitive pattern where the mind divides life into extremes: good or bad, right or wrong, safe or unsafe, success or failure. And while this way of thinking can feel frustrating, it is not a personal flaw. In many cases, it is your nervous system trying to protect you. As a therapist who works with trauma,...