May 2026

Have you ever felt like you were either a complete success or a total failure? Like one hard conversation meant a relationship was falling apart, or one mistake meant you had ruined everything? This is often called black and white thinking, or all-or-nothing thinking. It is a common cognitive pattern where the mind divides life into extremes: good or bad, right or wrong, safe or unsafe, success or failure. And while this way of thinking can feel frustrating, it is not a personal flaw. In many cases, it is your nervous system trying to protect you. As a therapist who works with trauma,...

Have you ever felt like you were either a complete success or a total failure? Like one difficult conversation meant a relationship was falling apart, or one mistake meant you had ruined everything? If so, you are not alone. This pattern is often called black and white thinking, or all-or-nothing thinking. It is a common way the mind tries to simplify a complicated world. When life feels uncertain, overwhelming, or emotionally charged, the brain may reach for extremes because extremes can feel more manageable than the unknown. But while black and white thinking may create a temporary sense of control, it can also...

A loved one takes longer than usual to text back, and suddenly your mind imagines an accident. A small mistake at work turns into a fear that you’ll lose your job. A shift in someone’s tone makes you wonder if the relationship is in danger. This pattern is called catastrophic thinking. The mind’s tendency to leap toward the most extreme negative outcome. If this feels familiar, please know this: you are not broken, and you are not alone. Your brain and body are trying to protect you. The alarm system may simply be working harder than it needs to. Catastrophic thinking is...

Have you ever caught yourself reacting in a way that feels bigger than the moment? Maybe your chest tightens the instant your boss emails you. Maybe Sunday afternoons bring a familiar heaviness. Maybe a loved one’s tone makes you feel defensive before you even know why. It can be easy to think, This is just who I am. But often, that is not the full story. Many of our emotional and physical reactions are shaped by patterns our nervous system learned a long time ago. These responses are not random, and they are not signs that something is wrong with you. They are...